Peace on Earth...

For the day after Christmas, here's Peace on Earth, a 1939 Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer cartoon short subject directed by Hugh Harman about a post-apocalyptic world populated by animals.

Not exactly Planet of the Squirrels, but close. It's beautiful, creepy and sad as the animals follow the biblical command to "rebuild the waste places" from human helmets and shell casings.

It was remade in 1955, this time with jets, flamethrowers and rockets, mice instead of squirrels, and the atomic bomb instead of gas warfare.

And so it goes.

(Via Metaflter)

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Hasta La Vista, Baby Jesus

The Greatest Action Story Ever Told, a parody skit from MadTV that blends the life of Christ with Arnold Schwarzenegger's Terminator plot, aired Dec. 14, 1996, on MadTV. It manages to retain the integrity of the gospel story. And, it still rocks. It actually contains more pathos and beautiful cinematography than last year's The Nativity Story. (OK, I actually never saw that one, but I'm guessing...)

Have a merry, merry Christmas.

Punk Rock Hanukkah Song

Hanukkah is over, we know that.

But Aussie punk pranksters Yidcore produced this parody of Adam Sandler's "Hanukkah Song" and we thought you needed to see it. Paper cut-out inmates bust out of prison and sing the praise of famous Jewish punks like Richard Hell, Mick Jones and Joey Ramone. Santa makes an appearance, and there's a walk on by Charleton Heston in a famous role.

The whole thing is rather two-dimensional. But completely crazy.

(Thanks to Heebmagazine.com )


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Nerd's Nativity Scene

What would happen if three gaming geeks had visited the Babe in Bethlehem instead of the Three Wise Men?

This animated youtube video clip depicting a World of Geekcraft nativity play will give you a clue. IM IN UR MANGER KILLING UR SAVIOR is Live Action Role Playing at its most historically inaccurate. It's from the animation website For Tax Reasons.

Of course, there's also a super nerdy response to the clip pointing out arcane game playing mistakes.

I seriously doubt if any of these folks will have a merry Christmas


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Video: Night of the Living Jews

This just in from our favorite Jewish humor and culture magazine, Heeb.

It's not just another Hasidic zombie movie. "Hold on for the most violent, sexually explicit experience since your bris."

Takeaway quote: "There are Jews on the lawn. Zombie Jews!"

Night of the Living Jews takes place on the first night of Passover in a remote Jewish bungalow colony where residents are turned into flesh-eating zombies by matzoh with a dark history. In the hunt for human flesh, the zombies descend on an unsuspecting gentile family in their quiet farmhouse. You'll take a journey through their hellish night of terror, romance and a frighteningly un-kosher diet.

The short film is directed by 20-year-old first time director Oliver Noble, who dropped out of high school to launch his filmmaking career.

Possibly handy quote: "This is the strongest weapon in our arsenal. The bacon cheeseburger."

Watch the trailer.


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Davey & Goliath: The lost episodes

I'm back from the mountains, and kicking myself because I didn't get the chance to post about the most significant media event of the new millennium --the release of the lost episodes of Davey and Goliath last Tuesday.

(Because this happened on the same day that Halo 3 was released by Microsoft, many of you may have missed this news).

Surely you remember the series with a focus on moral quandries, produced in the 1960s by the Lutherans and created by Art Clokey, the guy who brought us Gumby. (A side note--Davey's close friend, Jonathan Reed, was African-American, perhaps the first African-American character to appear in a television cartoon, and one of the first African-American characters to appear as a friend of a television show's lead character.)

Nevertheless, the lost episodes include some that were removed because of political correctness issues--"Ten Little Indians" (withdrawn because of the use of the term "Indians"), "The Gang" (removed for violence), "The Watchdogs" (violence again), and "Down on the Farm" (for nudity--Davey goes skinny dipping, if you can believe it).

Here's a Quicktime movie in which Goliath tangles with a robot.

They don't make 'em like this anymore, unless you include the soulless Veggie Tales.


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Video: JewWalking

Just in time for Yom Kippur, which starts at sundown today, the National Jewish Outreach Program put Simmy Kay, narrator for MTV’s hit show Room Raiders, out on the streets of New York City for some JewWalking!

Simmy tracked down some Jews to ask basic questions about the Jewish religion, Jewish history and the Hebrew language. The answers are sure to surprise and intrigue you. Can you spot the kid with a bagel on his head? And remember .... thou shalt not covet your mother or father.

(If you missed Rosh Hashanah, you can watch Comedy Central's This Week in God and celebrate anyway.

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Video: It's a fine line...

Here's a youtube music video by the group Familjen that takes old footage of a Pentecostal worship service and edits it to seem like a rave party. It's all in Swedish, I think. Creepy and fascinating at the same time. All I can say is, do they have a Wednesday night service?

(via BoingBoing.net)


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More Amazing Stories: Angels, horse hockey, Islamic coolness

Sorry, but when wacky religion news items come in too fast to satirize individually, we are forced to release them all at once in our "Amazing Stories" feature. Here's some more:

• Thirty-five-year-old Princess Martha Louise of Norway, who is fourth in line to the throne, has come under intense media scrutiny for her involvement with the Astarte Education School, an alternative school that aims to teach people how to get in touch with "the angels and the divine Universe." The princess wrote on their web site that she had learned how to talk to angels and communicate with horses. Horses? Be patient... the item below shows THERE'S A THEME forming!

• Following in the footsteps of Southwestern Seminary's Christian Housewife course, a Texas Baptist church-starting conference offered participants a course in HALT, or Horse Assisted Leadership Training, a ministry that incorporates horses to "teach leaders about themselves and how to work with those around them." It's facilitated by an Equine Assisted Learning (EAL) certified team.
You could call all this just a load of HORSE-HOCKEY, but a jackass did speak to Balaam, after all.

• The music video Malak Ghair Allah or You Only Have God to Count On was a hit when it was launched recently at a popular mall in Jiddah, Saudi Arabia. It's message: You can be cool and devout. But the main cast includes a Saudi woman, which is very rare. She appears covered up in black with only her face showing. The song tells of a young Muslim who strays from the true path by smoking, flirting and skipping prayers. He suffers by losing his fiancée, falling behind at work and then having a serious motorcycle accident. But things turn good when he reverts to a more prayerful way of life and stops smoking. (Think I saw the same story in a Sunday School instructional film in junior high). Hundreds of people showed up to watch the video on a giant screen in the mall's main hall. Why is all this news? Because the Saudi government considers music un-Islamic and usually BANS MUSIC IN PUBLIC PLACES!

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Streaming Judaism; ABC's 'Fat March'

The New York Times has a story today about streaming media on the Internet, and mentions The Jewish Television Network, a nonprofit television production and distribution company. The feature I like is the streaming music videos by Jewish performers. (I never realized The Beastie Boys were Jewish).

Here's a Beck music video from the late 1990s Midnite Vultures album featuring actor Jack Black and some interesting lyrics, for a religious network:

"I want to defy the logic of all sexx laws
Let the handcuffs slip off your wrist
I'll let you be my chaperone at the halfway home
I'm a full grown man but I'm not afraid to cry..."

Can somebody check to see if that's all kosher?

Meanwhile, in other media news, the youth minister at First Baptist Church in Dallas is a contestant on a new ABC-TV reality show called Fat March. Shane Sisk weighs 500 pounds. A recruiter for the show saw Sisk at the airport and signed him up on the spot.

The program will change the contestants' diets and march them 570 miles through nine states. They can vote someone off the team like on Survivor, and they're all scrambling for a $1.2 million shared jackpot.

The filming for the show is over, but Sisk can't yet reveal how much weight he's lost. His goal is to get down to 250 pounds. The show premieres tonight at 8 p.m., central time.

Sisk said he now applies the disciplines of his faith to his health.

"This whole show, this whole concept, the whole process was a time for me to step back in order to be the man I need to be."

That's great Shane. Just, please, don't step back onto me.


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A tribute to Mike Yaconelli

Longtime Door contributor Siarlys Jenkins sent us a tip that the ThinkChristian.net blogger Mike Atkinson posted a tribute to Wittenburg Door founder Mike Yaconelli on what would have been his 65th birthday.

It contains a video clip from Yac's speeches at several National Youth Workers Conventions.

Check it out.

God himself couldn't sink this ship!

This YouTube video (8:15 long) is a mashup of a Jack Chick evangelistic scare tract and the Academy Award-winning film Titanic. Turn that over in your mind for a minute.

Anyway, see if you can figure where these folks are coming from. I can't. It's actually a pretty effective presentation of the cost of unbelief, in a scary fundamentalist sort of way. But on the other hand, the Titanic's orchestra plays Metallica's Enter Sandman instead of Nearer My God to Thee. Viewers seem generally confused, judging from the comments. Some are mad because the clip makes fun of Jesus. Others are mad because it makes fun of Titanic their favorite movie. Still others are mad because it makes light of a disaster. Yea, verily, others are mad because it wasn't funny or because the heaven/hell part either scared them or brought them down.

All in all, an interesting take on that mesmerizing and maddening cultural phenomenon, the Jack Chick tract.

UPDATE: Watch eight more short "Chick flicks" here.

(via Boing Boing again)


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Jesus Action Figure?

This 43-second YouTube clip is totally offensive, but who's to say the Jesus Action Figure won't show up at your local Christian bookstore and gift shop next week? Might even be there now. Anything's possible these days.

It's revealing as a metaphor. How far will we go to turn the gospel story inside out in the name of connecting with "seekers." How far removed is this fake ad from a Passion of the Christ full-length film? Aren't they both selling Jesus? Watch and discuss.

Walk on Water Action! The Holy Grail accessory comes in the box. (Cross not included).

UPDATE: Now Wal-Mart's in on the action.


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Video: Cute terror muppet wows Gaza Strip kids

When a large black-and-white mouse appears on the TV screen, the kids quickly gather around. But this is no Mickey Mouse show. It's Farfour, the lovable terror muppet. (Farfour translates as butterfly).

Farfour's comedy schtick consists mostly of pouring invective on the U.S. and Israel. He appears on a Gaza Strip children's show Tomorrow's Pioneers broadcast each Friday on Al-Aqsa TV, which is owned and operated by Hamas.

Children call in to the show, many singing Hamas anthems about fighting Israel.

"You and I are laying the foundation for a world led by Islamists," Farfour squeaked on a recent episode of the show. "We will return the Islamic community to its former greatness, and liberate Jerusalem, God willing, liberate Iraq, God willing, and liberate all the countries of the Muslims invaded by the murderers."

Watch a translated clip from the show here.

Isn't he just adorable?

Um, I thought I'd never say it, but I'm nostalgic for Barney: "I love you. You love me. We're best friends like friends should be...."

UPDATE: Farfour's show has been pulled off Hamas's television station for "review," Palestinian Information Minister Mustafa Barghouti said May 9. Barghouti said the use of the cartoon character in such a role represented a "mistaken approach" to the Palestinian struggle against Israeli occupation.

UPDATE TO THE UPDATE: Hamas-run television defied the Palestinian government May 11 by airing Farfour's show again. Stay tuned.


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Christian humor, satire, humor

Video: Supreme Master Television

Many of us have grown bored of religious broadcasting. If you've seen Benny Hinn knock down 500 people with his jacket once, you've seen it a hundred times.

Prepare to get interested again.

Welcome to Supreme Master Television.

On her worldwide Internet TV network, the blonde bombshell who calls herself Supreme Master Ching Hai explains the virtues of vegetarianism, meditation and her house full of small dogs. It's "positive" news and entertainment and inspiration, repeated at 6-hour intervals. Forever.

This is from her FAQ page:

Q: "Master, will I be able to find my dead relatives and communicate with them if I practice the Quan Yin meditation?"

M: "Dead relatives? Oh, sure, sure. But I am afraid maybe you don't like to go there. Some of your people are difficult to get in touch with. If you want to go such place, you need a Master. Otherwise you will be in danger. So it's not always good to see dead relatives.
"Now, you practice the Quan Yin Method, and some of your relatives, dead relatives will be immediately released from whatever suffering they have. If they are already in heaven, they will go to a higher level of heaven. If they suffer light punishment, they can go immediately, quick. If it's too heavy, then we have to negotiate."

Now that's chutzpah! Must be why she has thousands of followers worldwide.

Watch the video clip on "Words of Wisdom" at her website, www.godsdirectcontact.org. I love the creepy double-cobra logo that blasts off and the Disney rip-off graphics. (Is that the Sleeping Beauty Castle/Taj Mahal in the background of the intro? Or what?) In other videos this lady recites poetry and sings. She even offers something called the "convenient method" that gives you only a "taste" of enlightenment.

One major plus: Unlike Benny, Supreme Master Ching Hai never asks for money.


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Video: The Hallelujah habit

Too late for Easter, but here's a remarkable concert presentation of Handel's Hallelujah Chorus from youtube. No, that's not a gaggle of nuns. It's the Turtle Creek Chorale, the mostly gay men's chorus from Dallas, in some sort of religious drag.

It's not surprising the music is so good. Timothy Seelig, who's directed the chorale for 20 years, is a former Baptist minister of music and son of a former vice-president Southwestern Baptist Seminary in Fort Worth.

But actually, you may not want to listen to Handel ever again after you read this New York Times piece suggesting the Messiah itself was an anti-Jewish diatribe.

Is nothing sacred?



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Video: And God created chunky

This video calls us to experiment: "The next time you open a brand-new jar of jam, jelly, or peanut butter, let's find out how good of a scientist you are!"

I notice this principle mostly when I crack open a cold pint of Guinness, not a jar of peanut butter.

Oh. You're not familiar with the Julia Child theorem of the origin of life? Here's a transcript of the video, The Kitchen Laboratory, if you want to follow the logic more closely.

I love Chuck Missler's wacky theories on Bible prophecy and other stuff. I've read his newsletter for years. But, um, this may not be the best approach to debunking the evolutionists.

Back to the drawing board.

(Thanks to onegoodmove.org)



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Video: The Barack Obama Jesus

Forget that old chocolate Jesus controversy. The new chocolate Jesus has arrived.

A piece of art showing Senator Barack Obama as Jesus Christ is now on display at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago.

No other flavor has yet been reported.



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Video: I love the smell of xenophobia in the morning

How'd we miss this?

Pat Robertson--who's never, ever had any designs to take over the U.S. government himself... well, no new plan in the last 24 hours (see photo above)-- was spooked by the election of the first Muslim to Congress last year. Now he's issued a call for churches to work to get Christians elected and to "stand up and not worry about the IRS, not worry about if you're gonna lose your tax exemption." To break the law, in other words. (Watch the video clip from his 700 Club program).

"The curse of God is to bring in people who don't share your point of view and then ultimately destroy your civilization."

Ah, the dangers of diversity. Sounds a lot like the Know-Nothing party of the 1850s, who were fearful of Irish and other Catholic immigrants.

Robertson probably would have signed up as a Know-Nothing back then. But many descendants of those same Catholic immigrants are now charismatic Catholic supporters of his TV program. Go figure.

Pat needs to reread William Kristol's April 2006 article in the Weekly Standard warning that populist Republicans are in danger of "turning the GOP into an anti-immigration, Know-Nothing party."

Meanwhile, we're all FreeSoilers here at The Door.


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Video: Creation Science 101

Wasn't the world created on a bet between God and L. Ron Hubbard?
Whatever happened, "In the beginning, it begun."

Roy Zimmerman gives us a lesson in Intelligent Design in this youtube video clip called Creation Science 101. It was recorded at the 2006 Skeptics Society conference and appears on his album "Faulty Intelligence."


***************
Um... if this offends you, just skip on over to the latest glimmer of hope for peace for the Middle East. ... or possibly a harbinger of Armageddon: Hooters is opening a franchise in Israel!



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Christian humor, satire, humor