Too bad I'm not available....

No responses yet-- so check it out:

Photo: I'm not including a photo. I'm sure this will cost me some points, but I hope I can make them up elsewhere on the form. It's sort of a bold move, don't you think? Kinda makes a statement about the impermanence of the flesh and the temporary nature of our physical existence. Besides, I never seem to show up in photos... or in mirrors. Hmm.

Age: 34-ish. (When we finally tracked down my mom, she couldn't remember the exact year she left me at the YMCA)

Disposition: Intensely laid back, which sometimes manifests in a fiery, uncompromising Savonarola-like fury. But hey, whatever.

Ideal Mate: Someone just like me, except sorta foreign-looking.

Hobbies: Long walks in the forest with my trusty band of society's offscouring, robbing from the rich to give to the poor. I can take apart and reassemble a zither in under 8 minutes. I also collect stamps. And I'm a member of the Pheidippides Heritage Society, whose members run marathons hoping to die at the finish line.

Religion: Episcopalian. Wait-- scratch that. High Church Episcopal. But actually there's a strong vein of Calvinism that I picked up during my summer missions project with the farming family in Iowa. In fact, intertwined with the Calvinism (which is coming back-- see Time Magazine's March issue) is an equally intense dedication to social justice. But, hey, certainly not Liberation Theology. Ha, of course, if that were true I wouldn't tell YOU! Anyway, see the attached pdf with my thesis-length theological musings, or read my latest blog posting at www.skippy'sjesus.com. (Do not feel pressured to visit my online store for t-shirts or coffee mugs)

Education: Four years at University of Texas at Elm Mott. (One semester as cheerleader for the Fightin' Fire Ants! Yay!) Still working on my last remedial basketweaving course-- after that they'll send me my diploma, I think.

Employment: Poet-in-residence at our local public library. This is currently not a paid position, but there are a lot of perks. Access to the bathroom is a big perk. And the research information librarian will answer most any question I have. Really, it's a pretty sweet deal. The intern pays me 5 cents a book to help him reshelve while he curls up in the corner for some Second Life on his iPod Touch. That keeps me in Mountain Dew.

Turn Ons: Naked women usually do the trick, although as I get older, I sometimes need to slam down an extra Mountain Dew.