When 'frenemies' need help

Sometimes "frenemies" trapped in an endlessly cycling love-hate relationship need a little outside help:

Psychologist--I'm glad you two decided to sit down together and talk this out. It shows maturity. It shows there's hope for the relationship. It shows that underneath all the backbiting and bluster that's gone on, something still remains of what drew you together in the first place.

Who'd like to go first?

God-- Well, I'd just...

Lucifer-- I would. Thank you. Honestly? Yahweh and I were great in the beginning. Yin and Yang. People liked to see us together. We worked as a team. He'd bless some hapless "righteous" screw-up and then I'd come along to test the guy's faith by making his goat die or something. There was a symbiosis going on, a real mutual..

God--If I could just jump in here. Lucifer, I'm afraid you've forgotten the original basis of the relationship. You work for me. We are not equal partners. We're not buddies. You had your shot as an anointed cherub and you blew it. I created you perfect in all your ways. But it just wasn't enough for you, so...

Lucifer-- What? How can you say that? The arrogance! You are the most manipulative, oppressive ruler anybody could ever think about submitting to. If I had any other options, do you think I'd still be here humiliating myself in front of a ...a psychiatrist? How many times have I told you I wanted out of this relationship, huh? Tell the good doctor. Most recently was about three days ago, right?

God-- Hey, I created the job for you, ex nihilo. I hated to see you always curled up in a fetal position, whining all day. You see what I've had to put up with? I actually invented the concept of language, but it's just impossible to communicate with someone who's hysterical. Sheesh!

Psych.-- Why don't we move on to another topic. What do you each really want out of this relationship?

God-- I guess I'm looking for obedience, some decorum and of course the rebellion level would have to go way down.

Lucifer-- For me? Love. That's all. And freedom to be me. I feel so restricted with all the regulations-- have you read them?--I don't know, I'm confused. I try to carry out my instructions, but what's so wrong with injecting a little creativity into the process? Have you got a monopoly of that too?

God-- Actually I do.

Psych.--I think I see an opening for a reconciliation here, but both of you will have to bend a little. God, could you leave Lucifer with pretty much free reign on the earth for a period of time? Of course there'd be a firm cut-off date. And Lucifer, you'd have to do what God says without fail, even knowing that in the end you'll end up in the Lake of Fire.

Lucifer-- We'll see about that.... OK, sure. I'll give it a shot.

God-- Yes, I suppose that would be satisfactory. But I'm keeping my eye on you just the same.

Psych. --We're out of time. We could schedule another meeting if you think it's necessary, but you've both taken a huge step here, and I'm delighted with your progress.

Group hug?


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