Uglyband: Neon Horsemen pass by. Please.

Neon Horse
Latest Release: Neon Horse
website
Tooth and Nail Records

Sometimes a band is either so ugly or has so little sense of style that the record company attempts to market the music without ever showing us what the band members actually look like.

This is never, ever a good sign.

Neon Horse, supposedly a conglomeration of members of 20 defunct Los Angeles-area music groups, released a CD in May. The mystery of the band's membership was hyped by Tooth and Nail Records. Scores of people had their curiosity piqued.

Despite the mystery, the identity of two members has leaked out. They are Mark Salomon, formerly with The Crucified, Native Son & The Foundation, Stavesacre and Outer Circle. And Jason Martin of Starflyer 59, Dancehouse Children, Bon Voyage and The Brothers Martin.

I've never heard of any of the groups, but if that's Salomon in the group's video, it's probably just as well he kept the makeup on. The content of the video is so disturbing I'm passing the information on to our Weekly Beastie file for further review.

I'd like to help them, but there's really not much to work with without real photos. The CD cover art (above) gives only a clear view of the groups' crotch.

Will Neon Horse ride their embarrassment into the ground? Will they be merely a flicker on the musical landscape? Will they expire with a whiney or an irritating buzz? If the group can overcome their shame soon, we'll be here waiting, with as much grooming, fashion and style advice as they can handle.

As the adage goes, you can lead a Neon Horse to Haute Couture but you can't make him show his face.

Pity.



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