Web: Kaput ...like an Egyptian

The other day I was musing on my inability to fit in. I think each person has a deep need to feel like they're part of something bigger than themselves. Maybe even something really, really big. And even if I can't sense that while I'm alive, maybe I can when I'm dead. Why couldn't I be a part of something, let's say, that you could see from the surface of the Moon?

A German consortium has heard the cry of the millions and come up with an answer. They're offering us a chance for immortality previously reserved only for the pharaohs. For just under $1,000 we can have our remains squeezed into a memorial stone and added to a pyramid that will become the largest structure on earth--10 times the size of Egypt's Great Pyramid.

"As monumental as it is affordable, it serves those of all nationalities and religions. Individuals who are either unwilling or unable to have their physical remains buried there can also opt to have a memorial stone placed instead. Stones can be custom designed with any number of colors, images, or relief decorations. The Great Pyramid will continue to grow with every stone placed, eventually forming the largest structure in the history of man."

Uh, that means if only a few hundred thousand people go for this, it might end up being the biggest and ugliest pile of rubble on earth. Who's to say that years later you won't be hauled away to patch an overpass on the autobahn? And do I want to spend millennia next to that pink stone with the smiley-face sticker?

Never mind. I want my stone to be the color of barley and inscribed with, "Where Would Jesus Be Interred?" I can't wait.

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