Divine Intermittent Explosive Disorder?

Confidential Psychiatric Evaluation
By Dr. Jerold L. Adams
Institute of Hermeneutical Psychiatry
Nashville, Tenn.

Subject: God

Sources: Personal interviews; dictated writings covering several thousand years; Independent reports from coworkers; world history; current events.

Interview: We were surprised when God-- with no previous history of psychiatric problems--checked himself into our facility July 12. He told us he felt he had a problem and, being the plumbline of moral righteousness, knew He should seek help.

"I'm just tired of all the anger," he confessed. "The Katrina thing, the tsunami. Wars and rumors of wars. It feels like it's getting out of hand," he said. "And you know how disturbing that can be for an omnipotent and omniscient being. Well, maybe you don't."

He related a long history of angry and jealous outbursts, from the Flood, to Sodom and Gomorrah, to the plagues of the Exodus, to the destruction of Jerusalem. "I even shriveled up the plant that was shading Jonah... just to make a point. I must have been out of my gourd."

Despite these examples of acting out, God acknowledged he has a reputation for long suffering and mercy. But sometimes, he says, he just snaps.

Diagnosis: Intermittent Explosive Disorder. A new diagnosis, it afflicts more than 10 million men in America enough to actually make them physically sick, according to a recent Harvard study.

Prescription: 200,000 (no, better make that 2 million) mg of Depakote, an anticonvulsant to raise the threshold for anger outbursts. Twice daily (and none of that "one day is as a thousand years" stuff).



Technorati Tags: Divine Intermittent Explosive Disorder, Christian humor, satire, humor