Thursday, November 15, 2007

Warren is 2007 'Sexiest Preacher Alive'


The Wittenburg Door has released its choice for 2007 Sexiest Preacher Alive, and it's Rick Warren, the 50-something, seeker-friendly love god of evangelicalism.

[Renowned British pulpiteer Charles Haddon Spurgeon was actually The Door's first choice, but, although sexy and a preacher, Spurgeon failed to meet the "alive" requirement. Plus, he has over-the-top facial hair.]

The Door contest goes one step beyond People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive poll by factoring in proficiency in Greek and Hebrew along with raw animal magnetism.

A Closet Clothes Horse

Don't let Rick Warren's disheveled Hawaiian shirt and receding hairline fool you. Although he says his idea of fashion is wearing "clothes that don't itch," Warren is a style-conscious clothes horse in his off hours. He can often be seen dressed to the nines, dazzling the ladies all over Saddleback Valley and on any Thursday night at the Cheesecake Factory in Mission Viejo. (He gets most of his fine Giorgio Armani suits at the Saks Fifth Avenue over at The Shops, we hear. Never wears 'em to church, though).

Christianity Today once said Warren has a "shapeless, middle-aged body." But that was back in 2003. He's been working out since then. Really.

The Hermeneutical Hunk

For a while this hermeneutical hunk had that spiked hair thing going, which the ladies love. It also helps that, as The Boston Globe reported, he's "a hugger, embracing even the most casual of acquaintances." Touchy-feely definitely raises a preacher's hotness quotient. (Although too much touchy-feely can raise his police mug-shot quotient).

Warren's post-modern, emergent, smoldering sensuality seems almost purposely driven. Staying on top of the latest youth trends is one way he keeps his mojo going. Like when he had his quotes all over the Starbucks cups. Brilliant.

omg lol xoxo j/k

And Warren was the first to jump on the Christian ringtone/ wallpaper franchise, bringing faith-based content to cell phones, something no one had realized they needed before. It started a revolution of Kuhnian proportians. Now when thousands of Christian young women pull out their i-Phones, their hearts go pitter-pat to see Rick behind their waiting text messages.

Power is sexy. So having dreamboat and political heavyweight Barak Obama join him in the pulpit last year only added to the megachurch pastor's charismatic appeal.

We all know preaching sexual abstinence can certainly make hearts grow fonder--all that talk about self restraint naturally increases the libido. But if --in addition--you've received a clean bill of health for sexual disease, well...the ladies are all over you like a rash. Let us explain....

Ricks' Hottest Moment

Ricks' Hottest Moment was being tested for AIDS. Back in December 2005, during Saddleback Church’s "Disturbing Voices" HIV/AIDS conference, Rick Warren underwent testing for the HIV virus (see top photo). Though Warren claimed he had never engaged in at-risk behaviors like marital infidelity or drug use, tension built during the 20-minute wait for the results. It was negative, and wife Kay was ecstatic: “That deserves a kiss.”

Smokin'! Oh, be still my fluttering heart! Rick Warren--Sexiest Preacher Alive, hands down. Need we say more?

UPDATE: Hillary Clinton has confirmed she'll attend Warren's Global Summit on AIDS, Nov. 17-Dec. 1 at his church. Told ya he was hot.

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