The Primaries in Song, Vol. I

Remember that song from the '60s by Dion about fallen American political heroes-- Abraham, Martin and John? It always made me shed a tear. So I've adopted it to honor the Republican candidates, who will all more than likely be politically eliminated after November 2008. The song is called Mitt, Huckabee, Thompson and John.

Try not to choke up.

Mitt, Huckabee, Thompson and John

Anybody here understand Mitt Romney?
Can you tell me where he's wrong?
He labored to explain that being Mormon's not insane
But that flew like a biplane past King Kong.

Anybody here seen the rest of ol' Mike Huckabee?
Can you tell me where it's gone?
We checked the lost and found after he lost 200 pounds.
(And if you're askin' me,
looks like enough for a VP)
So he could be his own runnin' mate before too long.

(brief instrumental interlude-organ)

Anybody here seen ol' Fred Thompson?
He's supposed to be out shakin' hands.
But he's easy to distract, unless he's focused on his nap.
Only Jeri can stir up his aging glands.

Can anybody here point out Senator McCain?
On the Straight Talk Express bus making calls?
He's lucky to survive being one of the Keating Five.
Can there be more to leadership than simply balls?

Didn't you love the things that they stood for?
Didn't they try to find some good for you and me?
And we'll be free
Some day soon, it's gonna be one day.

Anybody here seen Libertarian Ron Paul?
His ideas now make me yawn.
Wasn't that him and Giuliani buried in punch-card trash and chads
along with Mitt, Huckabee, Thompson and John.

Next up: The Democratic Primary in show tunes.

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