The Year in Religion 2007

In case you missed this on the www.wittenburgdoor.com site, here's our rundown of the Year in Religion:


• Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light, a collection of the humanitarian's previously unpublished letters, revealed her to be a big ol' whiner.

• Evangelicals, embarrassed by their previous environmental insensitivity before recently becoming "green," turned a bright orange in 2007.

• First, Trinity Broadcasting Network became the new owner of the Holy Land Experience, a biblical theme park in Orlando, Fla. Then, the Creation Museum opened in Petersburg, Ky. Finally, faced with a "failure to communicate" from several televangelists, Sen. Charles Grassley made plans to open the Elmer Gantry Religious Work Camp based on the set from Cool Hand Luke. I bet you can't eat 50 eggs, Benny.

• The family of a woman who died from a snakebite during a religious service last year sued the Kentucky hospital that treated her because of disparaging remarks about her beliefs. Wait... she wasn't actually handling those serpents, was she? 'Cause that's crazy.

• Sixty-eight percent of Republicans polled said they doubt humans evolved from lower life forms over millions of years, although they find it easy to believe Democrats did.

• Twenty-five percent of Americans believed it was at least somewhat likely Jesus Christ would return in 2007, according to an Associated Press poll. They were wrong.

•International Fishing Ministries Association in British Columbia sponsors fishing excursions in place of worship services because, founder Ed Trainer says, “Church is too boring for men. Church is set up like a country club for women.”

• Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary added a homemaking class to its curriculum, which was criticized as an “absurd aberration.” But now the ladies have a lucrative deal to fry up the International Fishing Ministries' catch of the day. So who's absurd now?

• The film The Lost Tomb of Jesus presented evidence producers say could prove Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene and had a son. No evidence was presented that showed the Holy Family needed a homemaking class.

• The Vatican denied concealing the Fourth Secret of Fatima, which some claim contains the full truth about the end of the world. (Our guess: The apocalypse will not be preceded by a series of speculative books on eschatology involving secret "codes" and long-buried mysteries).

• The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints mounted a PR campaign to better explain what it means to be Mormon. While trying to deny they believe Jesus and Lucifer were brothers, they, uh, inadvertently admitted they did believe that.

• Spiritual website Beliefnet.com was bought by Rupert Murdoch. He promptly renamed it newscorpdirecmoneynet.com.

• Amway distributors lost a $19 million suit for spreading rumors about satanism at the Procter and Gamble Co. But we're still creeped out by that spooky P&G crescent-moon logo thingee.

• Theologians redoubled efforts to interpret the meaning of "Bong Hits 4 Jesus."

• The National Primitive Baptist Convention marked its centenniel by singing a capella, starting fires with flint shards and bringing down a wildebeest with a simple throwing stick.

• The Jordan River, revered by Jews, Christians and Muslims, was found to be so polluted that the World Monuments Fund designated it an “Endangered Cultural Heritage Site.” Rupert Murdoch then offered to buy it, clean it up and change its name to The NewscorpFoxDow Stream of Revenue Channel.

• A Barna survey found that America's ungrateful, complaining young people see Christians as being judgmental.

• A new animated version of The Ten Commandments featured a more compassionate Moses with the voice of Christian Slater, who turned out to be surprisingly skilled at rebuking graven images.

• Unitarians tried to raise their profile with a $425,000 ad campaign. Their slogan was “Find us, and ye shall seek.” Really.

• In Jezebel: The Untold Story of the Bible’s Harlot Queen, author Lesley Hazleton claimed Jezebel got a bad rap. Well, at least we know one thing about her-- she failed as the Dog Whisperer.

• Discount chain Wal-Mart test-marketed biblical action figures... and then hired them with no health benefits.

• Tony Blair converted to Catholicism in December. He's now known as the Pope's "poodle."

• Furl • StumbleUpon • Technorati Tags: Year In Religion 2007, Christian humor, satire, humor