Uglyband: Panheads! Listen up!

First, a little background.

Last week we decided to bring back our "Ugly Christian Band of the Week" feature because... well, this is a crucial moment in Gospel music history. This feature will appear every Friday, methodically, like the incessant, rhythmic pounding of a middle-school garage band next door just when you're trying to watch CSI:Miami. It will grow on you in time, and, very soon, you'll not even realize you're reading it. Now, on to the review...



Skillet
Latest release: Comatose
http://www.skillet.com/

Since we last checked in with Skillet, the band has gone through several style management upgrades, changed their website and apparently dived into the spiritual and musical equivalent of a vat of quaaludes.

C'mon folks, where's the joy? I thought you were supposed to be a Christian band, not followers of that albino monk in The Da Vinci Code.

See the photo (above) of the band in 2004? Would you call the cops if these people walked into your convenience store at 2 a.m.? At least the guy on the left has donned a stylish vest, but the untucked shirt says "sloppy" to me, and possibly "incompetent." The other fellow is not Elvis. I know Elvis, and he's no Elvis.

The girls, surprisingly, are not mere window dressing. One plays keyboards and the other is "an animal" on the drums. They also make her drive the van and pack up the equipment.

But they all look tired. Too many nights on the road. The CD ad copy says of their music, "The heavy riffs are hewed with beautiful melodies and often, uplifting lyrics." Often? And, isn't that "hewn" rather than... Oh, forget it.

Their new CD is called Comatose. The newest photo of Skillet (left) reflects a sudden interest in polish, but to no avail. The lead singer is wearing a "Paul is dead" kind of suit. Taking a cue from the CD title, all life has been drained from their demeanor, and the guy in the background actually has expired and is being propped up for the photo session. It's sad, really.

I will not mention the lead singer's odd, moused-up curls. That would be cruel.



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