Monday, April 16, 2007

Uglyband: Locked into dreads?


(Click for larger view)

Christafari
www.christafari.com
Latest Release: To the Foundation

Christafari is a controversial Christian reggae band founded by Mark Mohr. Controversial because some Christians think his Rastafarian look suggests marijuana use, and the Rastas think he's trying to pull a Jews-for-Jesus thing by masquerading as a true Jah worshipper of that Ethiopian Emperor.

The band was started in 1989, and it shows. The whole problem is the dreadlocks. They're not only out of style, they're a lightning rod for trouble.

People claim the hairstyle dates back to ancient Egypt and to the Vedic deity Shiva and his followers, who were said to wear their hair in that style.

At the turn of the twentieth century, Marcus Garvey found an enthusiastic following among the black population of Jamaica.The followers of this movement called themselves "Dreads," signifying that they had a dread, fear, or respect for God. Emulating Hindu and Nazarite holymen, these "Dreads" grew matted locks of hair, which would become known to the world as "Dreadlocks" — the hair-style of the Dreads.

Rastafarianism is something entirely separate. It was born in the 1930s when Ras Tafari was crowned emperor of Ethiopia. When the emperor was forced into exile during an invasion, guerrilla warriors swore not to cut their hair until the emperor was reinstated. Rastafarians smoked cannabis because they thought it prompted a clearer state of well being. Their dreadlocks were thought to be disgusting and frightening, hence the term "dread" which was later reclaimed by the "Rasta" community. The hairstyle was later brought into mainstream culture through the worldwide success of reggae artist Bob Marley.

Whatever its origins, for a busy musician, there are a lot of drawbacks to this hairstyle.

One dread-care site says, "If you swim or wash them a lot (more than once a week usually), your dreads can start smelling very funky and musty if you do not dry them out properly in the sun, with a blow dryer, etc. Mold can actually grow inside your locks if you leave them damp most of the time."

Hmm. Mold.

And here's a warning to reckon with: "If something weird has crawled into your dreads, laid eggs and is having a party in there - please, don't go into denial because you're afraid you might have to chop your dreads off... DEAL WITH IT IMMEDIATELY." Whoa!

Dreads are very high maintenance. You gotta have special shampoos and sprays and take precautions not to let smells embed themselves in the locks.

But Mohr and his band can solve all these problems. Just get rid of the dreadlocks.

I suggest the Knotty Boy Dreadlock Removal Kit for $25. You won't even have to cut your hair. Then-- "poof"-- everybody's happy and you can get back on the concert circuit, maybe with a more modern hairstyle, like the one sported by former president Bill Clinton, above.

Or even go with a more blow-dried, Don Imus/ Farrah Fawcett look. Hey, don't worry. You'll still look dreadful.



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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure about controversy and moldy hair. All I know is reggae music makes me hungry. I'm going to go find a snack.

Anonymous said...

locks are beautiful--they'll NEVER be out of style. Mold only happens if one loads their locks with gunk. Black hair needs nothing but washing in order to lock up. White hair must be matted down with some form of "gunk" in order to lock/mat. You obviously don't know what you're talking about.