The law of the pack

I'm planning to put a bumper sticker on my car, like the one I saw yesterday, that says, "I'm Proud of My Cub Scout."

No, my son's not a Cub Scout. Neither am I. So, I guess I can't be proud of either one of us. But I'm really gonna be proud of my "I'm Proud of My Cub Scout" bumper sticker. It'll look great and make me feel better about myself.

I tried to be a Cub Scout back in second or third grade. To earn the merit badge, a boy must pass 12 increasingly difficult and challenging achievements involving simple physical and mental skills.

My parents bought me a scout belt with the metal buckle. One of the simple mental and physical challenges was putting the canvas belt through the metal belt buckle and actually making it hold up your pants.

I failed. I went to one meeting, and found myself with the same group of sweaty rowdy idiots I was with all day at school. The den mother in charge kept telling us what to do. Who needs this much stress, I thought? I never went back.

I was supposed to learn citizenship, compassion, cooperation, courage, faith, health and fitness, honesty, perseverance, positive attitude, resourcefulness, respect, and responsibility--among other things-- and to obey the Law of the Pack.

But instead I learned a valuable lesson about myself.

I learned I'm not a joiner.

Some people probably see joining a church (or a college fraternity for that matter) in the same way. They may know they need a community, but they don't want to face "12 increasingly difficult and challenging achievements" in the spiritual realm, or obey the law of the pack. They want a place that doesn't reward merit with a badge. (Does anybody actually have merit?)

Don't get me wrong. Some of my best friends are Eagle Scouts. They come in handy building camp fires when we're backpacking.

But would Jesus have joined Cub Scouts?

All I know is that I've still got my Cub Scout belt buckle. Maybe someday I can make the darn thing work.


• Furl • StumbleUpon • Technorati Tags: Cub Scouts, Christian humor, satire, humor