Beastie Update: 'Jesus' moves to Houston suburb

A week or so ago our Weekly Beastie feature revealed the truth about Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda of Miami, who claims to be both the Antichrist and the reincarnation of Jesus Christ.

His numbers didn't add up either way, so we thought he was just another regular guy with a following of Pope-hating, tattooed, antinomian New Age churchgoers-- the kind you might find anywhere.

But now he's moved to a suburb of Houston, and we're not so sure anymore.

As a Texan, I know that any decision to move to a suburb of Houston is never taken lightly. Whether it's Baytown, Texas City, Pasadena (the article doesn't say), it always involves a decision to breath toxic, refinery-polluted air (see photo). Most people don't do this unless they've made a Faustian deal with the oil companies in return.


In fact, the only other reason someone would decide to constantly breath the sulphur-infused, infernal atmosphere of southeast Texas is if they were... the Antichrist.

We're gonna re-calculate his Beastie score immediately.


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