Rick Warren replaced by anime figure

Rick Warren has resigned as pastor of Saddleback Church in California. He will be succeeded by Calumon, an animated Japanese manga character.

"It's a logical next step for the church, we think," said church elder Steve Bartleby. "Calumon is a natural leader, he's on the cutting edge of pop-culture sensibilities, he can relate to people of either gender, and with his varietal coloring, he won't even need the Hawaiian shirt."

"We love Rick and always will," Bartlby said. "But Calumon can expand his ears when he's happy or excited to allow him to fly. There are just so many facets to his ministry skills."

The Crystal-Matrix figure on his forehead will also allow him easy access to Jewish gatherings, which helps in evangelism and ecumenical communication.

Warren, called "secular America's favorite evangelical Christian" by Forbes magazine and author of The Purpose-Driven Life --as well as a collection of quotes that appeared on Starbucks coffee cups in 2005-- said he grew weary in his year-long attempt to personally meet everyone in his megachurch congregation. He will be working at home on his project to stop or slow continental drift.

Saddleback church, with an annual budget of $30 million, 300 employees, a 120-acre campus and around 22,000 worshippers each weekend, will be a challenge for Calumon, one of the Digimon creatures living in a parallel universe that originated from Earth's various communication networks. His name comes from the Japanese word "Kurukuru," which describes the sound of spinning. (Calumon does not Digivolve, and cannot be Digi-Modified).

Although not a best-selling author like Warren, Calumon has recorded two singles, Asobo Culuculu and Culu Culu Culumon! sung by Tomoko Kaneda, and I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas, which was never commercially released.



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